You know those obnoxiously cute couples that claim to have it all figured out? They tell their (hopelessly) single friends things like, "You'll find someone one day! Just be patient, it'll happen when you're not looking!" Gag me with a Spoon!
Admittedly, I used to be the better half of one of those sticky sweet couples. Despite being in a less than ideal long distance relationship, the Ex and I thought we'd reinvented the very idea of love. We were the two luckiest schmucks in the world.
Well, obviously we were wrong. About a year and a half ago, the Ex broke off our engagement and moved on to a younger, more readily accessible version of me. I guess his options were pretty limited since he had my name tattooed on his chest.
He got a new Erin. I got a new name. I go by Maureen now– my middle name. It's hard to ask your mom to call you by a different name after 26 years, but that's my identity crisis and I own it.
Anyway, the Ex is now engaged to New Erin and I'm obviously still unable to find myself in a normal, healthy adult relationship. I say 'obviously' because this is a dating column, and no one wants to read about happy people in functional relationships.
Essentially, I scored this little piece of The Patch by being a walking, talking train wreck– the girl who's been looking for love in all the wrong places, like on my midnight runs to the grocery store, every coffee shop between Bridgeport and New London, the gas station and even speed-dating. I could go on, but it only goes downhill from there.
From hopelessly heartbroken to head-over-heels, I've seen it all. And still, I find myself running laps around the Grand Obstacle Course of Love. Luckily I've learned a few things along the way; like good places to go on the shoreline, which local radio stations don't play sappy Taylor Swift songs, and things one should never say on a first date– ever –unless one doesn't want a second date.
I'll be sharing my experiences with you– the good, the bad, and the terribly awkward –as I search the shoreline for Mr. Right.
More Maureen? Check out my blog here