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Community Corner

Moms' Talk: Two Funerals and A Wedding

Relatives and friends in far reaches of the country get forgotten, until an "event" forces us all together.

It's The Circle of Life

And it moves us all

Through despair and hope

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Through faith and love

Till we find our place

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On the path unwinding

In the Circle

The Circle of Life

(From The Lion King: Circle Of Life Lyrics)

These lyrics kept replaying in my mind last week when, within a span of five days, I attended two funerals and one wedding.

The wedding was a beautiful Catholic ceremony, followed by a lavish, frolicking reception.  Yet, it was not the five-course meal or the open bar or the scrumptious dessert bar that made this wedding memorable.  It was reconnecting with relatives we have lost touch with over the years.

Yes, there are the annual Christmas cards and the intermittent phone conversations to check up on elderly loved ones, but really connecting with relatives, far and near is elusive.  There is work, school, sports, extracurricular activities and immediate family obligations.  The relatives in far reaches of the country get forgotten, until an “event” forces us all together.

It should not be like this.  How do you keep in touch with relatives far and wide?  Do you connect via phone?  Do you have an annual family reunion?  Do you wait until an “event” throws you together?

Since the wedding, some of us have been able to get together for dinner. What a fun evening for all!  With ages ranging from 13 to 91 years it was remarkable that everyone found someone to relate to, conversing about work, play and family. Before going our separate ways we exchanged phone numbers and e-mails with the promise of keeping in touch!

The mood and atmosphere at the funerals were more subdued. Funerals always make me nervous.  What do you say to the family?  How do you convey your feelings in the most respectful way possible?

Death itself conjures up sadness and regret.  But it doesn’t always have to be like that, and these funerals definitely did not fall into this category.

Both of these people were 94 years old!  I cannot even imagine being on this earth that long.  The people, places and things that they encountered over those 94 years resulted in full and rewarding lives.  It was not until very near the end that daily life became challenging and difficult for both of these special people, but they always had their immediate and extended family and friends there to help them.

We celebrated Uncle Ed’s service to his country in WWII; remembered his brave and successful fight against cancer; saw him buried next to his beloved first wife;  and watched as his widow found comfort, in her time of sorrow, in her family all gathered in his honor.

The very next morning, as my neighbor and dear friend, Anne, was buried out of the same church where she received her Baptism, her First Holy Communion, and her Sacrament of Matrimony the priest spoke of her homecoming.  As a devout Christian, Anne’s faith gave her strength through the heartache of her husband’s death, her oldest son’s death and health challenges towards the end of her life.

Both of these incredible people lived, until their final day on earth, in the comfort of their own homes.  While it was not always easy for their families, they made sure this last wish was fulfilled.  They made sacrifices in their own lives so that their loved ones could live out their lasts days in the most comfortable way possible.

I am a better person for knowing all of the people I reconnected with over these five days.  The only regret I have is that I didn’t find enough time to spend with the people now departed.  I made time to attend their funerals, now I must make time to keep in touch, connect and reconnect with those they left behind.

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