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Health & Fitness

Come What May: I Am Upset Today

I awoke feeling upset that Monday was here, my girlfriend was starting a new job and I was here at home, headed for my laptop and the usual job search emails that come over night.  I have been looking for work for months.   I know what it must feel like to be retired and not have a job to go to or a place to be. I hope mine is more enjoyable but this day and for some time, it feels like I do not fit in anywhere.  Lots of people say I have impressive credentials and much to offer.  I deeply appreciate those words but where are the places and people that are in need for someone with my skills?  I am a great ambassador for health and well being brands and the importance of balance in creating lasting happiness.  I am passionate, articulate, and skilled in seeing big, complex issues and translating them into easy-to-understand creative solutions.  I am a great leader, teacher and coach.  I am approachable, collaborative and eager learner.  I have played pro sports, successfully negotiated with professional sports team owners and leagues, multi-million dollar corporations generating millions in incremental revenue.  I have started companies from scratch, written and created art that move people to purchase, spoken to small and large groups of all ages on a range of topics from healthy living, career management and fitting in.  And here I sit each morning, brainstorming who to call and reach out to find my place.  What is wrong with this picture? 

I am angry at myself for somehow missing things along the way that has me in this position. This is a situation that forces me to keep going even though I feel like pulling in and picking up stakes.  My job search is more than employment; I am seeking work that gratifies me in a high interest field.  I am grateful for providing in-home therapeutic massage treatments for clients here on the shoreline.   The vast majority of the thousands of massages I have given have been well received. Thank goodness. The reason is, I believe, that I offer what I have to give in an unvarnished, authentic manner.  Sessions are like meditation for me.  I go to a calm, centered state using my intuitions to guide me with what the tissues will allow.  I listen to clients and respond to what they say.  It is this connection to Self within me and their connections within themselves, that bind the experience into not only a relaxing one but a renewing one too.  

From this core experience, I have developed my art and writings and public talks.  My sense is there are positions within the health and well being field that will celebrate my approach to health and communications.  When I do find them, I will feel “at home”.  Until then, I am tested each day to say what I feel, to be myself and offer it courageously, knowing my approach like my massage, isn’t for everyone.  This is a great test.  Each day is a new calibration between my intellect and heart.   If I judge things by whether I am offered jobs or not, I will miss the point of the journey.  I have lessons to learn. This is not a punishment.  I am safe and on a path perfectly meant for me.  Faith is hard.

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Rumination for the day:

 

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Powerful feelings of joy or sadness are just that: feelings.

I will invite them in to sit and stay for as long as they wish.

They are part of me and I will not deny them.

By surrendering, I am soothed

For they help me see things in ways that lead me to my Source

Where Silence reins, there is no fear and love expands in all directions.

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